xistentia | Catch-all log

[ For some reason, it takes being kidnapped and sort of brainwashed by a virus for Ronan to kick himself into gear about finding a place in Xistentia to dream up a forest. He drives around and away from the city itself, after contemplating dreaming up Cabeswater, tree by tree, on the loft terrace. It seems impractical, and somehow... too close for comfort.

So he ends up a few miles away from town - possibly close enough that they could walk there, but far enough that they could be somewhat disconnected if they wanted to.

It's nice. It's a good spot. Ronan sits against one of the car's back wheels, and looks over at the expanse in front of him. There's nothing there, but it's getting a lot of sun. It's great. It's perfect. He should fall asleep now -

Wait. Does he have to dream a ley line first? Can he even do that? How come he has kept his powers, if there are no ley lines here? Should he try to find ley lines in Xistentia first?

Damnit. Suddenly doubting everything he's ever thought of, Ronan looks up at Chainsawd, sitting on the hood of the car. Then, softly and regretfully, he says: ]

Call Magnus Bane.

[ If there's something this city does well, it's coffee. Henrietta wasn't really known for its coffee shops or any kind of social gathering establishments, despite, you know, boasting two whole high schools and a large number of students. So Xistentia's numerous little cafes are nice - new, different to Ronan.

He's not much for the cramped interiors most of the time, but some of them have terraces, and that's just perfect to him. Sunglasses on, a book on the table - he's got The Iliad still, lately he hasn't had much time for reading - a cup of steaming coffee in one hand, it's a pretty good way to spend the couple hours a day Adam likes to run around town trying to find himself fifteen thousand jobs.

And usually, he's left alone, and he leaves people alone, too. But today? Today, when he walks out onto the terrace, all the tables are taken. Every single one of them - granted, there are only five, but still. Ronan must stand there, for a solid two minutes, trying to will someone to leave before he just gives up, and walks over to the one guy that looks like maybe, he won't try to have a conversation. ]

Hey. D'you mind if I sit?

[ Ronan might be aggressive and petulant, sometimes, he's also been raised right. ]

[ It's in the bleary, watery early hours of the morning after Ronan wakes up that he runs a hand over his head, and frowns. It's not like him to let himself go - back home, his routine was well-established and kept him in check, kept him sharp.

But they're here now, in Xistentia, without Gansey and Noah and Monmouth Manufacturing, but with Adam and waking up slowly and no school to attend anymore.

Ronan's let himself go, and he tugs at his hair, curls beginning to show, enough that it's embarrassing. Child-like. He tries not to wake Adam as he gets out of bed, heading straight for the bathroom and finding, blessedly, a trimmer in the cupboard under the sink.

Time to get rid of all this hair. ]

[Malcolm was the one who initially turned Arthur onto coffee, shortly after he'd moved in with them. Maybe it's partly due to his infatuation with America, but it's also because of the caffeine--he's never been overly fond of sleep; his mum once told him that even as a baby he'd wake himself after a few hours with indignant wails, as though he'd thought he'd miss something important.

In any case, there's not much to do aside from sit in cafes and drink coffee. Today, he's absorbed himself by sketching the patrons of the little establishment he's sitting at, in between sips of something bitter and foamy. Then someone jerks him out of his sketch with a greeting, startling him into scrawling a line right through the center of his sketch, and he blinks up at his new companion to find that he recognizes the young man standing in front of him.

Recalling their conversation brings a slight warmth to his face, but Arthur smiles up at him and gestures at the empty chair.]

Please.

[There's a moment where he doesn't elaborate--he takes a moment to erase the mistake, eyes on his paper--before he works up the nerve.]

I'm Arthur, by the way. We spoke earlier, actually, about that book you're carrying.

[ Magnus is at home. Decompressing after a trip to another universe can be tough, but by this point, he's starting to be something of an expert on the process. Come back, settle in, find something to occupy the brain. Eventually look back on the cross-universe trip and try to make sense of it. He's still on the "find something to occupy the brain" stage though.

For a little while, that's his latest and greatest project, most of it centering around the small collection of plants he's growing in the makeshift greenhouse on the second floor of his and Alec's apartment. The rest of it centers on some potentially ill-advised experimental portal travel, but never mind that!

He'll stop mulling over either when he gets a call. He and Ronan didn't get to talk too extensively, or at least it's very likely it wasn't as extensive as Magnus would've liked. Is he too curious for his own good?

Uh, yeah. That's probably about right. Anyway-- ] Hello! [ He picks up almost immediately, sounding chipper.

Probably too chipper. Anyway. Assuming he's not elbow deep in potted plants and has taken the time to check who is calling: ] I was hoping I'd hear from you.

( Despite all efforts to the contrary, Adam still hasn't learnt to relax while he's sleeping, at least not here. Maybe it's the world hopping thing. Maybe it's because he's hyperaware of a person sleeping at his side. Maybe, just maybe, it's instinct by now, but when Ronan gets up some signal starts firing in his brain and he comes to quickly, eyes blinking at the ceiling.

There are flowers creeping along the walls that weren't there before. It reminds Adam of the weirdness that happened a few days ago, of power stretching from his fingertips and blooming to life. He doesn't think too much on it though, not when his bladder is an insistent reminder of morning. He stumbles out of bed, clumsy limbed and still tired, all but falls into the bathroom to find Ronan inspecting a trimmer. He pauses for a split second, wondering briefly if it's weird to piss in front of him, before remembering that he's done it before, countless times, and just because they've touched each other's dicks doesn't mean they have to be awkward about seeing them, so.

Adam yawns, a jaw cracking thing, and goes about his business. )

You're up early.

( It's a bit incoherent, he's sorry. )

[ Ronan takes a moment to process the words as soon as Magnus says them - he is not used to be someone other people were hoping to hear from. Generally, they were more inclined to never want to hear his voice, or see his face.

Magnus, obviously, isn't anything like the people Ronan knows. He scratches his throat,
still looking out at the empty field in front of him. He feels stupid - he should just fall asleep and try it out. If it fails, what is he risking?

Maybe losing his mind, or his powers. Never waking up? Who the fuck knows. ]

So I'm - I think I found a good place for this forest I want to dream up, but I just started thinking. How can I know if there's a ley line anywhere around here? Something better than fucking dousing?

[ Ronan opens his mouth at the greeting, wondering how the guy could know it was - oh. Of course, he filmed himself, broadcast it out on the network. Of course he'd recognize Ronan, then.

Arthur. The name doesn't exactly rings a bell, but it's not like everybody introduced themselves the other day, so. Ronan sits, putting his mug on top of the book and watching the steam rise up from it for a moment. ]

Well, I'm Ronan. What exactly did we talk about? There was a lot of text conversations about loincloths, that day.

[ For some reason e can't explain, Ronan spends just a touch too long sitting on the edge of the bathtub with the trimmer in his hands and no indication that he's going to turn it on. There's a part of him that wonders if he should let his hair grow once more; a part of him that remembers how it felt to have it to his shoulders and curling in the breeze, to have Matthew tug at it when he wanted a piggy-back ride through the Barns, to have Gansey tuck a strand of it behind Ronan's hair, making him blush. His mother petting his hair as he sat by her chair, reading.

But this is all gone. Matthew's gone, Gansey's gone, Ronan's dad, his mom - all gone. He swallows hard, sniffling tears away when Adam walks into the bathroom, morning-clunky and comfortable. Ronan's shoulders relax just a fraction as he takes Adam in, his heart fit to burst, like a tree is growing too big inside it. When Adam talks through a yawn, Ronan snorts, looking down at the trimmer in his hands. ]

Yeah, I woke up thinking my hair needed to go, and now... I don't know.

( It takes Adam a second longer than it usually would for him to realise something's wrong. In his defence, he's only just woken up. But in between humming in response and washing his hands, an awareness of it comes to him. He stills, gaze heavy on Ronan's bowed head, his shoulders. He has to fight the urge to reach out and touch, instinct demanding physical contact. )

Oh.

( From the little bits he could gleam of the Ronan from before, he knows that this is a lot bigger than a haircut. Most things are for Ronan, when it comes to the matter of self and memory. So Adam does his best to try and work his way through it, leaning back against the sink. )

Well, you don't have to, if you don't want to. ( He thinks that's important to say. Ronan cuts his hair to make a point, but maybe that point has been lost along the way. ) But you also don't have to let it grow.

[ Ronan, carefully, bites his lower lip, as he brushes a thumb over the trimmer. He realizes, when thinking about it, that it's just hair. That to most people, it's no symbol, it holds nothing of importance but something helping self-worth, just an aesthetic thing.

But for Ronan, it's like history. It's like letting go of some of the grief. It's like sanding away at his edges, smoothing them out until he's rounded up, able to be filled out, a whole human again.

He doesn't know if he's ready, and when he looks up at Adam, he doesn't feel like he is. ]

Do you like it?

[ Those sound like pretty serious risks.

That's probably what Magnus would say if he knew what was going on in Ronan's head right now. As he does not, he can only go by what the young man is saying. There's a little bit of a pause, as though he's thinking. ]

I think we should start by assuming that you can use whatever source of magical power we can find. I've yet to hear of anyone being completely cut off from their magic by our new residence's magical capabilities. That said, there are plenty of ways to locate more magic.

Assuming dowsing is the one you use, I can show you something that might work better. I'm not entirely sure you'd be able to replicate it for yourself, but I guess we're bound by a little trial and error while we're here.

[ Mr. "I like to tinker around with magical stuff" probably takes no issue at all with this. But he's not one to make assumptions about others and what they want or take issue with. So, he trails off noticeably here, as if silently inquiring about Ronan's opinion on that idea. ]

[ Ronan is pretty sure he can still feel his own magic here, even though he has yet to dream up anything. He wonders if Kavinsky has been tapping into it himself - he was always very reckless with taking from the ley line, so he probably has. Probably doesn't give a shit about keeping things in balance, either. ]

Yeah, I'd like to try. [ He's willing to try anything. ]

What I can do is very limited - actually no, that's not true, but it's limited to my dreams. So I don't know if I can replicate it either, but... [ Damn, but the words that come out of his mouth next are hard to say. ]

I'd like your help.

[ Ronan, apparently always getting involved with bisexual magicians wherever he goes. ]

Chainsawd, send the coordinates of where we are to Magnus' daemon.

[Oh, right--he never introduced himself, did he? Flushing slightly, Arthur offers up a sheepish smile and turns the page of his sketchbook.]

We talked about Achilles and Patroclus, and a bit about ourselves.

[He could elaborate, but it's a little embarrassing on his part, so he holds his tongue. Instead, he carefully begins to sketch out the hard angles of Ronan's face, keeping the sketchbook angled so his impromptu model can see the work.]

I quite enjoyed it, actually. It's been a while since I talked about a book with someone.

[ From what Magnus knows of Kavinsky and his habit of dreaming up impossible things... he wouldn't be surprised by that.

As for Ronan's request, well. Magnus is used to requests for help. He's not in the habit of lingering over them and making the person doing the asking feel bad. Unless that person represents the establishment that has been oppressing him and his people for centuries.

And Ronan does not fall into that category. ]

And I'd be glad to help. [ Yep, simple as that. ] When would you like me to meet you? [ There's a pause where he is presumably looking at the location indicated by his daemon. ]

I can be there right away, if you like! We can see just exactly what we're working with here.

[ You are apparently stuck with one more bisexual magician now, Mr. Lynch. ]

[ He's only recently learned that you also are a bisexual magician, Magnus, and he's still wrapping his mind around that. And the fact that you're married to Alec. Because... opposites attract, apparently? ]

Right away's good. I'm here anyway, I can wait for you.

[ When usually, he'd rather do this on his one, with no one around to risk being attack by a night horror, at least Magnus could probably defend himself against one if anything happened; if Ronan can do this at all, which is not even 100%.

Maybe he could use some of his magic. ]

[ Oh. Oh, that guy. Yes, of course. Ronan nods, willing to leave it as is; he may be cruel sometimes, but rarely when it's unprovoked, even if he'll find the slightest thing to be a provocation.

As is, Arthur is already down on himself enough without Ronan adding to it by being an asshole. ]

Have you visited the library yet?

[ How interesting that Ronan should have two such magical beings in his life now! Adam's not half-demon though. Actually, no demon jokes. We'll skip right past those.

Instead, let's just say Magnus would definitely be interested to hear Ronan and Alec talked. That would be interesting to hear indeed. ]

All right, give me just a moment! [ And be prepared for something shimmering in the air about fifty yards off (should Ronan notice it) and then for Mr. Lightwood-Bane's colorful visage to pop on through what would otherwise appear to be thin air. He goes on talking as he walks closer, at first doing so to the giant monarch butterfly at his side, then more directly at Ronan when he gets closer. ]

I was exploring in the area just a few days ago. Only briefly though. [ He probably has some kind of plan for hitting as much of the area in a radius extending slowly outward. ] For portalling purposes.

Hey.

( He moves, until he's standing in front of Ronan. Adam holds his gaze for a long moment, blue eyes soft and curious, as though this is a puzzle he's carefully trying to work out. ) It shouldn't matter what I think, because it's your body. ( He knows that's a somewhat conflicting statement coming from a boy who sands off his own edges to fit in, but he's also prickly about self-will. Ronan's always been the braver of the two of them. ) But if it helps, I think you're pretty either way.

( He smiles, sweet, reaches out, stroking the palm of his hand over Ronan's head, following the curve of his skull until he can cup it, thumb moving restlessly over his jaw. )

What do you want to do, Ronan?

[ He lets out an amused chortle at Adam calling him pretty, rolling his eyes, the quiet contemplative mood that was making his heart bleed a second ago gently ebbing away. He's been called a lot of things; sharp and cruel and handsome and 'like he was carved out of marble', even, once, by an art teacher. But he'd never been called pretty. Not when it meant something softer and gentler than Ronan had been in recent years.

He's something you can cut yourself on. Not something pretty.

Still, he looks up into Adam's eyes, and can only see fond sincerity there, in his look and in his touch, which makes Ronan's eyes flutter a little. He nods, after a while, and holds the trimmer out to Adam. ]

Do it. Shave it off.

[ Maybe, at some point, he'll be ready to have longer hair again. But he's not there yet. ]

[If Ronan isn't going to address it, Arthur sure as shite won't, but he does flash a small, grateful smile before going back to his sketch. He shades in the jawline and transitions towards the neck and shoulder before answering the question.]

Not yet. Someone from my home world showed up recently, so I've been trying to get her acclimated and make sure she's all right. Maybe I'll bring her by, though.

[ Too soon, right. Way too soon.

Hopefully, Alec is not going to tell Magnus about their conversation. That would be awkward, okay, for Ronan. But then again, they're married, so...

Well, Ronan's probably shit out of luck. He still has a lot of surprise, though, finding Magnus just appearing out of thin air a few yards away. That -

Ronan has to wonder if he could dream up a teleporter. ]

Portalling purposes? You mean what you just did now?

[ Magnus, at least, does understand having an unhappy association with a demon. It's just, instead of being possessed, the demon is is his father...

And as for telling Alec or vice versa, there isn't really anything that's kept secret between them on purpose unless it's for a good reason. That said, Magnus isn't a gossip. So there's no worry or fear of information going beyond their four walls.

As Magnus approaches, he nods. ] That's right. I can travel instantaneously from one location to another, as long as I've been to my destination. I'm trying to visit as many places in the area as possible.

[ If Ronan tried, he'd be taking on a project similar to something Magnus is working on, which could be interesting. ]

Your girlfriend?

[ Even if the guy talked about being into some guy, doesn't mean he doesn't have a girlfriend. Ronan's heard of weirder things, after all. ]

[That assumption, despite being entirely understandable--he's somewhat of an outlier in not identifying as bisexual, after all--is so surprising that instead of accidentally scrawling through his sketch, he drops his pencil completely.

Which, alright, gives him a chance to duck under the table and collect himself as he grabs for it.]

Hardly. Even if I weren't...the way I am, she'd be even further out of my league than Curt was.

So you can use your magic, no problem. What kind of energy do you use?

[ Because it seems important. While Ronan has been hesitant to dream, he is pretty sure Kavinsky doesn't have this kind of scruples, and Ronan feels like he would have heard something if their dreaming had stopped working.

Still, it feels weird to dream, without Cabeswater around. ]

Back home, I can only do my thing through my connection with the ley line. I created this - forest, this magic forest. It's what I'm trying to get back, but it's weird to not have a ley line.

[ Ah, ah. Ronan doesn't outright laugh at the reaction, but it's... funny, in an endearing way. The guy seems to not even be aware of what a poker face is. Interesting.

'The way I am', Arthur says, being the same 'way' Ronan is, too, makes Ronan raise an eyebrow. But he's never thought of it that way. Just another part of the multiple facets of his personality. One he doesn't talk about much, granted. But not through shame, or discomfort; Ronan just doesn't talk about himself. ]

I don't believe in leagues, but it doesn't matter if she doesn't even have to right set of tools for you anyway. But she's your friend? Or you're just helping her out because she's from home?

[ Magnus appears to consider that question for a second, fiddling with one of the rings on his hands again. ] Strictly speaking? It's demonic in origin.

[ He shrugs, as if to take some weight off that confession. ]

My magic isn't tied to the earth, but to my blood. [ He stops fiddling to wave one hand. ] Not that there's blood involved. I only mean it's something I was born with and the source is me. Your ability sounds different in its nature. If you need to draw on energy outside yourself, then finding a source will probably give you more insight into how much of what you do can be accessed while you're here, right?

( There are moments when the person Adam has fought against becoming somehow slip in. This is one of them. But instead of feeling hurt about it, he just feels safe. Here he can let his words shape themselves into mountains and dusty fields, because Ronan has seen that part of him, has seen that he can be more too. Adam never thought he'd mellow out, Gansey would probably call it a miracle. But really, it's just this, being known and being wanted regardless. )

Okay.

( If he feels a little strange about doing this, he doesn't show it on his face. Instead he just nudges Ronan's knees apart so he can step between them, taking the clipper in hand. Their bathroom is a fairly small affair, but they'll clean it up after. Adam hums, a wordless tune, as he runs his free palm over Ronan's scalp, guiding him to bow his head before he turns the clippers on and moves them to the nape of his neck.

He doesn't ask if Ronan's sure, he knows he is. )

Ah. [ If Ronan takes an involuntary step back, please don't take it personally, Magnus. He has some baggage.

But Magnus doesn't look anything like The Unmaker, and there's nothing about him that makes Ronan think danger, beyond his natural tendency to not trust anyone anyway. ]

Sure, but how to go about finding a source? Home, we had the ley line. I've always had the ley line, and it was like... something in me, I just found it in my dreams. Think I should be trying to fall asleep? I haven't dreamt - like that - since getting here, yet.

[ Which, in itself, is worrying. ]

Edited 2017-09-08 10:18 (UTC)

[ When Adam takes the clippers and moves between his own thighs, Ronan reaches out, wrapping a hand around the back of Adam's leg, fingers spread wide, anchoring himself to right here and right now, Adam close and taking care of him in one of these moments where Ronan allows himself to be vulnerable.

He tips his head, closing his eyes as Adam sets himself to work. It's not a long process, but it's intimate in a way few things are, and Ronan's fingers squeeze around Adam's thigh regularly, giving himself over to Adam in yet another way. ]

[ Magnus hardly notices. Or else he's gotten used to hiding as much. He has some baggage too.

For a second, it looks like he might be thinking of elaborating, but he refrains. If it's necessary to have that conversation, perhaps they'll have it later. Once Ronan's achieved or closer to achieving his goal. ]

That's a good question. I think how quickly we can locate it depends on what it is, but I really can't guess what it'll be. I can put out some feelers, if you like. [ To demonstrate what he means, he summons a small ball of blue fire into his palm. ]

I confess, that feels safer than having you go to sleep when we don't know what you might find on the other side. I haven't had any reason to think there's something magical and hostile here, but I use my magic in the waking world.

[ It's unnerving to think of a new friend taking that chance. ]

[Upon straightening up, Arthur becomes acutely aware of the look he's earned, which is scarcely more than a hint of amusement but still doesn't exactly help him feel any less awkward. At least it's not quite as bad as it is when he's actually speaking to Mandy.]

I'd like to think she's a friend. I'm trying not to treat her like she's my idol, even though she sort of is.

[He offers a lopsided smile, then turns back to the sketch now that his pencil is safely retrieved.]

I'm not very good at it, or anything social, but I think she understands. She seems to appreciate the effort, anyway.

[ Biting down on his leather bracelet for a moment, Ronan contemplates the offer. It seems safer to him, too, because he can't be sure the dreamworld here isn't full of dream horrors, or worse - especially considering Kavinsky's presence.

Which makes Ronan think, he probably is going to have to talk to K about dreaming, here. Goddamnit. ]

Yeah. Okay, give it a go. Better than having me unconscious if something happens, I guess.

[ At Ronan's go-ahead, Magnus sends several of the little glowing lights into the air, each going in a different direction. ]

It does seem wise to stay alert here. [ A beat and he cants his head here and there. ] Well, as much as possible.

Once we know whether or not you can access your ability, I think it would be wise to test it slowly, to see if there's any change in how you use it.

[ He's just guessing that - even with the ley line - dreaming a forest doesn't happen in the blink of an eye. ]

[ Ronan lets out a tiny groan. He does get that pretty well; the social creature in their circle of friends is Gansey, and he's the only one that isn't even here. ]

She's famous, or something?

Catch-all log

>> Magnus; forest building

>> Arthur; chance encounters

>> Adam; grooming

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