[Amanda snorts softly, nodding as her hands occupy themselves with smoothing Heddy's fur in silent apology. Thankfully, Heddy was pretty resilient and wasn't easily chased away by a little tug.]
Oh, it definitely did. I would absolutely love to say I thought out every last detail, but he's always had a way of making me pretty much the most illogical person. [she sighs, realizing then that she's still wearing her shoes as well, and clumsily toeing them off]
I told myself it wouldn't be fair to ask to be with him because I'd be taking him away from the ship and even if it was a rustbucket it was also something he'd been looking for for years. I guess I was probably scared if I actually asked for more than…[she waves at herself] That it wouldn't live up to everything I've built up in my head. When you've been fantasizing about someone for the better part of a decade..I've probably made him something he can never be. And maybe none of that's actually true, maybe he would be glad to be back in a place with coffee and cigarettes and we'd be perfectly happy and maybe...maybe we wouldn't and I'd be angry that only half my wish came true. So, I just asked for half of it to start with.
[she turns to him, actually smirking a little] You know, you would have been the last person I would have expected to even listen to this not that long ago, much less actually care about the end result.
no subject
Oh, it definitely did. I would absolutely love to say I thought out every last detail, but he's always had a way of making me pretty much the most illogical person. [she sighs, realizing then that she's still wearing her shoes as well, and clumsily toeing them off]
I told myself it wouldn't be fair to ask to be with him because I'd be taking him away from the ship and even if it was a rustbucket it was also something he'd been looking for for years. I guess I was probably scared if I actually asked for more than…[she waves at herself] That it wouldn't live up to everything I've built up in my head. When you've been fantasizing about someone for the better part of a decade..I've probably made him something he can never be. And maybe none of that's actually true, maybe he would be glad to be back in a place with coffee and cigarettes and we'd be perfectly happy and maybe...maybe we wouldn't and I'd be angry that only half my wish came true. So, I just asked for half of it to start with.
[she turns to him, actually smirking a little] You know, you would have been the last person I would have expected to even listen to this not that long ago, much less actually care about the end result.