[her laugh is a little forced] She probably would have fried your phone and thrown her drink in your face.
[she bites her lip, running a finger along the edge of her empty glass] Not quite that literally, no. But...I used to have this recurring nightmare about when I woke up in the hospital after the accident, only it was...worse than what I acutally happened, becuase there wouldn't be anyone there to explain what was happening, or I'd literally be...playing in my yard or whatever and suddenly back there.
[and yes, she knows that's a thing most people would probably talk to a trained professional about. But she sort of got tired of trained professionals before she hit puberty, because back then she was a lot more angry about what had happened, and what was the point in talking about it because talking wasn't going to fix her vertebrae.
Now, she's just mostly accepted it's her normal, that sometimes she remembers that and it's awful but temporary]
And, uh, anyway. It's been like that in the back of my mind, kind of. Part of me kept thinking I was just having one of those dreams, that I ws having this great time driving and going out and I was going to blink and I'd be back in my chair. It's...illogical, but I don't think most reactions to trauma tend to be very rational.
[because as much as she likes to minimize it, she knows that a nine year old getting paralyzed is really traumatic and that if she ever had to go into a hospital again she'd probably lose it. But that's another thing she really doesn't want to bring up]
So uh. Yeah. I guess I kept thinking it really was too good to be true, so I shouldn't get attached to it. But maybe hitting the year milestone made something really click in my brain that I'm not actually having a really great dream.
no subject
[she bites her lip, running a finger along the edge of her empty glass] Not quite that literally, no. But...I used to have this recurring nightmare about when I woke up in the hospital after the accident, only it was...worse than what I acutally happened, becuase there wouldn't be anyone there to explain what was happening, or I'd literally be...playing in my yard or whatever and suddenly back there.
[and yes, she knows that's a thing most people would probably talk to a trained professional about. But she sort of got tired of trained professionals before she hit puberty, because back then she was a lot more angry about what had happened, and what was the point in talking about it because talking wasn't going to fix her vertebrae.
Now, she's just mostly accepted it's her normal, that sometimes she remembers that and it's awful but temporary]
And, uh, anyway. It's been like that in the back of my mind, kind of. Part of me kept thinking I was just having one of those dreams, that I ws having this great time driving and going out and I was going to blink and I'd be back in my chair. It's...illogical, but I don't think most reactions to trauma tend to be very rational.
[because as much as she likes to minimize it, she knows that a nine year old getting paralyzed is really traumatic and that if she ever had to go into a hospital again she'd probably lose it. But that's another thing she really doesn't want to bring up]
So uh. Yeah. I guess I kept thinking it really was too good to be true, so I shouldn't get attached to it. But maybe hitting the year milestone made something really click in my brain that I'm not actually having a really great dream.