2 truths and a lie; daemon: chainsawd

[fiachdubh]

[ If you were to see how this came about, you might be amused. Turns out Adam Parrish, wanting revenge from the Employment AMA network post, has decided to take over Chainsawd while Ronan is in the bathroom.

It's the work of a few minutes. He's stealthy. ]

2 TRUTHS AND A LIE
Preferred Alias: Ronan Lynch; the Greywaren

1. I coo over baby goats in tiny sweaters when I think there's no one around to see.
2. I own more t-shirts than the gap, but I wear the same shredded one every day because I think it makes me look like a badass
3. My tattoo is designed to be dangerous and full of claws, and beaks, and thorns (but the flowers are my boyfriend's favourite part)

One Of These Is A Lie

Comments

vefjklwvef tell me to edit if I'm wrong about this

[fiachdubh]

[ The words are combative and a hint mean, and they give Ronan pause. He pulls back a fraction, looking into Adam's eyes, the mask of annoyance slipping away from his face, replaced by his usual impassiveness. A clear sign that he's processing. ]

It's not denying.

[ Ronan works his jaw for a second, clenching and releasing, feeling the muscle twitch in his jaw. He puts a hand to the wall above Adam's head, leaning into it. ]

We just haven't talked about this. You're not telling me you consider me your boyfriend, but you have no problem telling the rest of the world.

[ Ronan's not insecure. He's not wondering about the way Adam feels about him. And in his head, of course Adam's his boyfriend. But he's not admitted it to anyone else, because he's not admitted it to Adam.

Maybe it's on him. Maybe he's the one with an issue, here. Inhaling sharply, he pushes off the wall, putting some distance between them. ]

you are not!!

[aberth]

( Adam opens his mouth, closes it. )

Oh.

( Here is where the two of them become impossible. Sometimes Adam thinks Ronan can read the truth from his bones, divine how he feels before he's even realised it himself. And then sometimes they're stubborn beasts, butting heads and unable to communicate. Their affection is clumsy, and sharp, and violent, and yet he'd never once thought it was anything than what it was.

When he'd kissed Ronan for the first time, it had been a statement.

One he apparently never thought to say out loud. )

When I went to see my parents, the last time, that's what my dad called you. I know he meant for it to hurt, I know he wanted me to deny it. ( But he's heard worse words thrown his way, had his weaknesses twisted into them. Adam doesn't care. Not now. ) But I didn't, because it was true. And I didn't give a shit if he knew, I didn't care what he thought.

( He pulls in a breath, tries to summon every scrap of bravery he's ever had, blue eyes finding Ronan's across the room. )

I'm in love with you. I love you. I know it's too soon. But we've lost so fucking much. I love you, even though you're an asshole and you hog the blankets sometimes and you make me crazy and we fight ninety percent of the time. But I do. And I won't hide it.

[fiachdubh]

[ Ronan stumbles back when Adam mentions his parents, surprised by it. He stumbles a little and catches himself on the wall opposite Adam, using it as a crutch as the words slot themselves in his mind, as he takes a moment to process them.
]

Whatever you think it is, I'm not - ashamed, or in denial. It just takes me more time to get to your conclusions, is all.

[ Ronan's never cared much about what other people thought, either. And he still doesn't, now - it's not why he was all over the place, right now. It's just that he's slow, in ways Adam isn't. It took him months to accept his feelings for Adam, and he's only now getting to accept that Adam reciprocates said feelings. Saying it to the world isn't something he's scared of. It's just that he's still wrapping his mind around what they are to each other, the two of them, so hungry and desperate and clinging to the remnants of home they can find in each other.

But earlier, reading the network post, and now, now, fuck, but Ronan feels like he's been sucker punched. His breath rushes out of him fast and loud, and his shoulders slump forward as he takes in the words, eyes wide as he lifts his head to look at Adam, a few feet away.

I'm in love with you. I love you. Ronan swallows thickly, and forces himself off of the wall again, walking back over to Adam until he can wrap a hand into Adam's shirt, by his collar. For a second, it looks like he's going to punch Adam right back, every muscle in his body locked up tight. But then he closes his eyes, pressing his forehead to Adam's, his breathing shaky. ]

But - if there's one thing I know, it's that I love you too.

[aberth]

I know you're not.

( Ronan might have his issues - love is a complicated thing, even for someone who's been loved. Adam knows he's struggled with it, cut himself off because it was easier, because it was safer. He doesn't expect him to rush headfirst into shouting it out. Even without adding the catholicism to the mix, he's always expected there to be caution. )

I know, Ronan, I just --. I don't want to be afraid. Not of this. I'm trying really hard not to be, so I said it because it's true and if I keep saying it, if I put a name to it then it's real and not --.

( Not one of his myriad of issues, not a word that sets him back years. Because Adam will always be a little bit broken, the fracture lines running too deep. But being in love with Ronan can't be one of them, he won't let it.

And then Ronan's storming closer, sharp and alive, like the air around him is shivering. )

I'm sorry, I am. I didn't think.

[fiachdubh]

[ Ronan breathes, staying right there with his forehead against Adam's, his eyes closed, feeling like there's a storm inside of him. He nods and licks his lips, reaching up to curl a hand around Adam's neck. ]

No, I don't want to be afraid, either. I don't want you to be afraid. I'm not that good with... saying this stuff, to other people. I just don't care. But if you want to say it, then say it.

[ he opens his eyes, fingers squeezing gently. ]

Because it's real. It's real.

[aberth]

( His hands fall to their natural place on Ronan's hips, holding on or anchoring him. He lets out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, limbs loosening. ) I want to tell people, if they ask. But I won't use it for a joke again, because that was shitty and I'm pretty sure Blue's going to kick my ass the next time she sees me.

( He ducks his head a little, eyelids at half mast. He hadn't thought, and sometimes it comes as a startling reminder that he can be so fucking shitty. )

And I am sorry, about not asking first. Not telling you these things first.

( It costs, to apologise. To admit that he's an asshole. But maybe it means he's changed. He doesn't want to hurt Ronan, not really. He wants this to work. )

[fiachdubh]

[ Ronan blows out a breath, so close to Adam like this that he can almost taste him. It's such a stupid fight, he can hardly believe it, and yet at the same time? It surprises him so little, that they'd fight over ridiculous shit any chance they get. ]

Okay. Hey, we're okay.

[ His thumb swipes along Adam's cheekbone, soft and sure. ]

I love you.

[aberth]

( Adam's smile is a little dumb, he knows. A little goofy. But the words mean more to him than he can ever say. Because they cost each of them a different kind of price, but they're expensive regardless. )

I know.

( He feels thrilled, and helpless, and a little bit too young for all of this. He doesn't want it to ever go away. )

I'm going to kiss you now.

( And he does, leaning in to press his eager mouth to Ronan's lips, relishing in the rightness of it, how well they fit, how it sparks deep inside of him like tinder. He loves this insufferable bastard, and he's loved by him too. )

[fiachdubh]

How terrible, [ he murmurs just as Adam leans in to kiss him. Ronan surges closer, keeping Adam pressed against the wall, like he doubts in any way that Adam is perfectly content where he is.

It's so good, to be there, to be having this, to be making strides forward, like... they actually want to do this right, do right by each other, and it's incredible. It's more than Ronan ever thought he'd get. ]