[ it's all a charade. bravado at its worst and the (un)funny thing about is that nico knows this behavior intimately. of course, he was never so crass, but he was still angry and bitter and any time he was around percy, made it seem like he hated him. all anger and hate and rage and he never made it easy for anyone to get close. if he hadn't been a demigod, hadn't dropped into tartarus on a foolish mission, if he'd been pulled out of the lotus hotel without direction and bianca had still died, he might be a little more like kavinsky. broken and hurting and because of that, sososo angry at everything at the world.

and it's probably only because he's been there that he's not storming out right now. he sees himself in kavinsky, beyond the booze and the lack of meds, he knows there's a boy there that just needs to be loved. it's just, like him, kavinsky looks in the wrong places.

what if percy had made it, he wonders. what if he could've had percy like kavinsky had vex, only to ruin it ( as people like him and kavinsky normally do )? would he really be so different?

all but tugging his shirt off, he hands it to the other boy, offering it to dry the tears. he doesn't blame kavinsky for believing he'd choose vex. vex is his best friend because he understands darkness and pain like he does. but what he has with vex is nothing like what kavinsky does. if only he can make the other boy see that. ]

Because, you idiot- [ short, clipped, but he's trying to keep his anger in check. patience, that's what this needs, and nico can be patient with the moment calls for it. ] Because despite how annoying you are and how much of a pain in the ass you can be, you're my friend too. Don't doubt for a moment that I wouldn't stand by your side if you needed someone. And you need someone now.

[ lifting a hand, he swipes his thumb under one of kavinsky's eyes. ]

Gods, you're obnoxious, but I never would've slept with you or even talked to you if I didn't care.