Second Vlog | video | daemon: hunterd

[bratpack]

[ Here is a closeup shot of a bright, happy smile and an even brighter pair of baby blues. ]

Hey guys what's up, this is your resident Badass Werewolf Wyatt, checking in! I know it's been a while, and I know you missed me, but I am here to make up for it you guys. How, you may ask?!

[ He spreads his hands, which is evidently a signal for Hunterd to back up and show off a wider angle. Visible on screen now is Wyatt, unwisely shirtless in this decidedly colder weather, in the middle of the forest. With both hands, he points down, and Hunterd lowers the camera to reveal - ]

Baby animals, o-b-v!

[ Well, one baby animal. A knee-height green-backed bison calf, which is currently on its hind legs, pawing at Wyatt's legs. He crouches down to put his arms around it, and it settles when he starts to rub its tiny not quite horns. ]

Maximus here has no mom. Or, he does, but she rejected him, for whatever reason. My guess is, he's too small. Anyway, he's mine now, which means I need your guys' help. [ Deep breaths. ] I need to milk a space cow.

[ Wyatt pauses. No doubt tumbleweeds blow by in the distance. He holds up his hand, clearly anticipating everyone's outright refusal. ]

I know what you're thinking. How will you, a werewolf, get that close to a space cow, Wyatt? Well, funny story. This is how that went.

[ He points to one wide, and the screen splits in two. On one side is Wyatt in real time, pointing. On the other is a wide angle recording of Wyatt sneaking up on a herd of bison, and making several failed attempts to milk the largest of them. Each attempt ends with the herd running, with Wyatt being kicked away, or - at the very end - the mother turning and physically chasing him off. He starts those attempts out fully dressed. By the end, his shirt is in rags, and he's evidently gotten rid of it now. The split screen vanishes and Hunterd refocuses on Wyatt in the now. ]

So! Who wants to help me get milk? I'll pay you in good wishes. And I'll let you pet Max. [ The baby bison has climbed right up into his arms by now, and is eyeing the camera with suspicion. Wyatt offers up a winning smile. ]

Now taking volunteers! Sign up in the comments below, I'll be waiting.

Comments

[bratpack]

[ WOW??? ]

wow ok i know what's a cock and what's not, man
for one thing there was like
more than one
which unless space cows are a hell of a lot luckier than i am, makes me think she was a girl, you know?

[scarrings]

do you know for sure the anatomy of a space cow?

[bratpack]

i know a grassy udder when i see one ok!!!
are you saying you don't want the baby space cow.

[scarrings]

I was hoping I could freak you out a bit first.

I guess we have our first cow now.

[bratpack]

that's mean
they didn't tell me you were mean

i got the milk btw he's all good now
i'm bringing him home

[scarrings]

Everyone seems to forget I can be. Not really certain why.

We'll need milk more often than once.

[bratpack]

yeah about that
the alien girl who helped me get it said we should ask rafa to clone it so that no one has to almost die again

you think he'd do it?

[scarrings]

Let's try the natural way first.

And let's do it more safely next time.

[bratpack]

when you say like

'more safely'

safely like how
i was all kinds of safe, man

[scarrings]

"So that no one has to almost die again" were the words you used.

[bratpack]

that's like the nature of the beast
like the space cow beast

what's your method you're the farmer here

[scarrings]

We have to try to wrangle him back a mom to get milk from.

[bratpack]

you mean you want to CATCH the big one?!

[scarrings]

And domesticate one.

[bratpack]

what happened to the part where you didn't want us to almost die?!

[scarrings]

I said "more safely," you said almost die.

We have to a take a few upfront risks to minimize the danger in the long run.

[bratpack]

ok fine but you better show me what to do cause i don't know this shit

i'll do it though, for the little guy