Second Vlog | video | daemon: hunterd

[bratpack]

[ Here is a closeup shot of a bright, happy smile and an even brighter pair of baby blues. ]

Hey guys what's up, this is your resident Badass Werewolf Wyatt, checking in! I know it's been a while, and I know you missed me, but I am here to make up for it you guys. How, you may ask?!

[ He spreads his hands, which is evidently a signal for Hunterd to back up and show off a wider angle. Visible on screen now is Wyatt, unwisely shirtless in this decidedly colder weather, in the middle of the forest. With both hands, he points down, and Hunterd lowers the camera to reveal - ]

Baby animals, o-b-v!

[ Well, one baby animal. A knee-height green-backed bison calf, which is currently on its hind legs, pawing at Wyatt's legs. He crouches down to put his arms around it, and it settles when he starts to rub its tiny not quite horns. ]

Maximus here has no mom. Or, he does, but she rejected him, for whatever reason. My guess is, he's too small. Anyway, he's mine now, which means I need your guys' help. [ Deep breaths. ] I need to milk a space cow.

[ Wyatt pauses. No doubt tumbleweeds blow by in the distance. He holds up his hand, clearly anticipating everyone's outright refusal. ]

I know what you're thinking. How will you, a werewolf, get that close to a space cow, Wyatt? Well, funny story. This is how that went.

[ He points to one wide, and the screen splits in two. On one side is Wyatt in real time, pointing. On the other is a wide angle recording of Wyatt sneaking up on a herd of bison, and making several failed attempts to milk the largest of them. Each attempt ends with the herd running, with Wyatt being kicked away, or - at the very end - the mother turning and physically chasing him off. He starts those attempts out fully dressed. By the end, his shirt is in rags, and he's evidently gotten rid of it now. The split screen vanishes and Hunterd refocuses on Wyatt in the now. ]

So! Who wants to help me get milk? I'll pay you in good wishes. And I'll let you pet Max. [ The baby bison has climbed right up into his arms by now, and is eyeing the camera with suspicion. Wyatt offers up a winning smile. ]

Now taking volunteers! Sign up in the comments below, I'll be waiting.

Comments

this is exactly the kind of weird bullshit request she's used to

[astralera]

I may be able to ask the unicorns for their input, but that will take some time...

I might have more success than you with stealth, though am unsure how to keep the cow from startling when my presence is finally noticed.

[bratpack]

[ Okay! Good, this is good. This is exactly what he needs. Wyatt points at the camera. ]

Right! Exactly. So I'm thinking like, one of us needs to milk and one of us has to be like, some kind of distraction. But not like, a scary distraction because if you scare them off it is hell to find them again. You don't want to see the long version of that video.

[ He tried for a long time, okay. ]

[astralera]

If I equip myself with my gatherer's gear I should be able to remain undetected even while harvesting, however I can only walk slowly while masking my presence.

[bratpack]

[ Wyatt thinks, what the hell is gatherer's gear.

Wyatt says: ]

Okay, cool! So I'll be backup. Make sure nothing freaks them out. Somehow. You think you can come meet me?

video; daemon: quothed

[deathkid]

You know, that thing's mom nearly gored me when I first got here. I can't believe you want to keep it for a pet.

[bratpack]

[ Wyatt looks alarmed, and quickly covers the calf's ears. ]

Shhh, he'll hear you! They're just cows, you know. Like, green cows, but if it's a cow you can tame it.

[ Wyatt that is not a rule.

Also, if it's a boy then technically it's a bull.

Details. ]

Anyways, look at him. He's totally friendly, and he'll die if I leave him alone.

[deathkid]

[ just kinda raises a brow, trying to suppress a smirk. ]

I think there's something to be said about natural selection in this case, but... I'll admit, he is kind of cute.

Have you given it a name?

[bratpack]

[ Wyatt opens his eyes wide. ]

Did you not watch all the way through?

[ He's hurt, Nico.

Not really. ]

He's Maximus. Or Max, cause I'll be real, I'm not gonna say 'Maximus' every time I wanna call him.

text; daemon: tepesd

[infatyuated]

a werewolf?
really?

how did you tame that thing?

[bratpack]

yeah really bro
i'd demonstrate but i don't wanna scare the kid

i didn't tame him, he's a baby
i found him. he's like a cub missing his pack, you know? i can handle that

[infatyuated]

he looks the farthest thing from a cub.
however, it's not my problem
if it dies, you only have yourself to blame.

and in this place, i'll take your word for it
there are already far too many monsters in this world

daemon: fridayd (cw sexual vulgarity)

[pillz]

ll u gots 2 do is raise the lil oen in2 a bi gone and cuz she knows u then shell let u touch her titties

[bratpack]

ok but i want the milk for the baby, smartass

and it's a boy

[pillz]

bet u could barter

say
think ive heard of u
throwin down wit another confused as fuck wofl over some third confused as fuck wolf
does that sound like u
;(

daemon: myshonokd

[possessively]

you're fucked, man

[bratpack]

uh, false
i'm winning
or i'm gonna be winning. you'll see, new guy

[possessively]

hah! i'd pay to watch this shit

daemon: vayd

[scarrings]

Are you sure you weren't accidentally trying to milk a boy?

[bratpack]

[ WOW??? ]

wow ok i know what's a cock and what's not, man
for one thing there was like
more than one
which unless space cows are a hell of a lot luckier than i am, makes me think she was a girl, you know?

[scarrings]

do you know for sure the anatomy of a space cow?

[healingdork]

Have you tried just... walking up to it calmly and making friends with it instead of sneaking up on it and scaring it? [He asks this with a raised eyebrow.]

[bratpack]

[ Everyone is being hella rude, okay. ]

Yes, man! I've tried like a bunch of times. They aren't tame, and FYI, I smell like predator to them. I'm not looking for advice on technique, I need help. This is not a one-Wyatt job.

video; daemon: apollod

[hasitsthorns]

[ She isn't sore anymore about the things Wyatt said at the fair. It feels like a moot point now, all things considered.

Rose may also just be especially weak to cute (shirtless) boys. Maybe. ]

Good wishes, huh? I got a way with animals so I can try to help. Especially if it means that cute little guy doesn't go hungry.

[ She is also a sucker for adorable baby animals. ]

[bratpack]

[ hhhh, he was kind of a dick to her last time they talked. He kind of feels bad. Especially given it was all motivated by jealousy, and now there's nothing to be jealous of.

He should probably make amends, or something. ]

Yeah, okay. I mean, if you got time, and don't...hate me, or anything.

[ Yikes? ]

[hasitsthorns]

[ 'Kind of.' Wyatt's the reason she ended up making friends instead with an entire bottle of Jose Quervo and puking on the curb.

BUT, IT'S FINE. She's fine. It's all good. ]

I don't hate you, dude, [ she says, and means it. Rose isn't incapable of hatred but it takes a lot more than calling her out on being unable to keep it in her pants. ]

So let's wrangle up some space cows.