[ voice | daemon: sabellad ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ The voice that comes out is low and rich, disguised as a gentleman. ]

So we are all here to "save the world". I don't suppose anyone has any idea on how to do that? Or better yet, how far along we are in terms of saving it? 30%? Though I imagine I am being generous with that number.

Alternatively, what do you do all day, bereft of a home?

Comments

daemon: fridayd

[servomotor]

YOU REMIND ME OF SOMEONE I KNEW WHO LAST I SAW WAS TRYING TO ENUNCIATE AROUND SOME KIND OF ADVANCED ASGARDIAN BALL GAG. ARE YOU A DEMIGOD?

[dothelokimotion]

[ . . . huh. ]

I am sorry, I do not read rudeness in text.

[servomotor]

THERE'S A TEXT TO VOICE OPTION. VERY ADVANCED AI YOU HAVE AT YOUR SIDE THERE. MORE THAN CAPABLE OF PARSING RUDENESS.

SPEAKING OF

NOT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT
BUT IS INVADING A GUY'S PLANET CONSIDERED 'RUDE' WHERE YOU'RE FROM? RELATED: SO WHAT'S THE SITCH WITH YOU BEING HERE. YOU FIND THE NEW ENEMY KIND OF 'RUDE' TOO? BACK HOME WE HAVE THIS THING CALLED THE 'GOLDEN RULE,' BUT IT COULD BE PRETTY HARD TO EXPLAIN IF YOU AREN'T WEARING THEM BALL GAG.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Stark. Loki leans back in his seat, absently scratching Sabella's chin thoughtfully. As far as "heroes" go, Stark is low on the scale. A problem, but not necessarily one Loki couldn't handle. A lazy grin stretches on his face.

And if Stark wishes to engage in a game of words and wits, why not indulge? ]

Why, I had no idea my gag was so memorable. A fantasy of yours, perhaps? I do realize that you struggle to find people invested in you as a person is a difficult task at hand. What do they usually invest, by the way? 12%?

[servomotor]

YOUR LITTLE ALIEN ARMY WAS PRETTY MEMORABLE. YOUR BIG BROTHER BESTING YOU IN COMBAT WHILST YOU BOTH PARTOOK IN YOUR MOTHER'S DRAPES WAS MEMORABLE TOO.

SAID GAG WAS ICING.

[The multiverse is in the jaws of destruction.]

SAY. YOU DIDN'T BRING A POCKET CHITAURI ARMY, DID YOU?

[What would/will Tony Stark do if he had, you ask? WHO KNOWS.]

[dothelokimotion]

I also have fond memories of him beating you. Though I hear anyone can do that.

And no, I did not.

[servomotor]

SOME TREES. YOU IN YOUR ADVANCING YEARS, AND A LONG DISTANCE IN THE DARK, IT'S AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE.

FIRST AND ONLY TIME YOU'LL PROBABLY HEAR ME SAY THIS, BUT THAT'S A CRYING SHAME.

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE OUT-APOCALYPSED?

[dothelokimotion]

Why is everything you are typing out in capital letters. Are you not an educated man. Did you break your daemon?

As for that, I do not feel particularly bad, actually. I rather enjoy the fact that someone else is doing good work.

[ It's bullshit, but it's couched in knowledge Loki has hidden away for some time now. He is still surprised that Thor never followed up on where the Chitauri came from. Neither did anyone else. But what can you expect from the nearsightedness of mortals? They only work from one crisis to the next. Either way, there's nothing left for him. No Thor, no Frigga. No home, no name. He walked out of Svartalfheim, alone and abandoned.

He had lied to Malekith but all of Loki's lies have nuggets of truth in them. Almost as if Loki himself hates the act of lying, no matter who he does it to. If Asgard burns, what difference does it make to him? ]

[servomotor]

[ALL THE DIFFERENCE LOKI. WE SAW YOUR LITTLE TOE SMUDGES ON THE WALLS WHEN FRIGGA PASSED. We know she taught you your magic.

Okay fine Tony doesn't know but whatever.]

IT'S FOR EMPHASIS. I'M VERY DISGRUNTLED ABOUT THE THEMATIC CONTRADICTION ABOUT INVITING THIS GUY WHO ALMOST ENDED MY WORLD TO THE END OF THE WORLD SURVIVOR PARTY. DO I NOT SOUND DISGRUNTLED. MY GUESS IS I DON'T PULL OFF DELUSIONAL LEVELS OF CONVICTION QUITE LIKE AN ASGARDIAN.

HOW ABOUT YOUR MAGIC, DO YOU HAVE YOUR MAGIC?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Leave his mom out of this. ]

I barely ended your world, much less leave a dent. You're so dramatic, Stark. Haven't you been selling weapons to such ends for the last decade or so? I'm sure you have your own well-crafted delusions about all the help you truly accomplish.

In fact, you should be pleased I tried. I am the one success to your name, the one thing that cannot be traced back to you and your actions.

As for my magic, why not meet with me and find out?

[servomotor]

Actually there was one time a man with unbearably gauche 90s dragon tattoos home-brewed a terrorist threat, and this boys' club with an octopus mascot--

You had other things to worry about. I understand.

[DEFENSIVE A LITTLE? MAYBE.]

SURE THING. TODAY? TOP OF THE MALL?

[dothelokimotion]

And yet, I have the utmost confidence that you had a hand in their creation.

Why not? Bring your tin can.