acrostic; daemon: moonshined (nsfw!)

[pillz]

ACROSTIC DESCRIBE YOURSELF WITH YOUR NAME!
Preferred Alias: kavinsky

• kavinsky
• admits
• vaginas
• including
• nurumi's
• seriously
• kick
• your ass

Accurate As Hell, Huh?

[and yes kavinsky filled it out himself. that's why it's wrong.]

Comments

[miss_brilliant]

If I know what you meant by this point, I'd seriously have to quesiton my intelligence

[the entire town might be able to hear her sigh]

I don't really know. I mean, it's not like I love either of them. Not like that. But I'm also not sure if it's possible for me to still have the same sort of feelings when I haven't even spoken to him in two years, regardless of anything I might or might not feel about anyone else.

[the fact it's been that long it something she doesn't know how to feel about, honestly]

[pillz]

yeah

[that's an unaccountably serious 'yeah,' for kavinsky.]

i no what u mean. maybe a different version of it, i dunno
i think back 2 the couple of guys i was real into a few yrs back. and it doesnt matter the same way anymore
they dont matter the same way anymore
like ill wish sometimes it worked out but no srprise it didnt
figure the ymoved on
i got new shit to mind.
but i dunno it sounds like u &t his guy was at least real good friends so theres some other meaning mixed up in there right

[miss_brilliant]

Yeah, for awhile there we were the only real friends each other had, I think. He was never really social, and then when his wife died he shoved people away even more. Except for me. Maybe because I got what it was like to be angry about something you couldn't change no matter how smart you were, so I forgave him for the way it made him act.

And that's always going to mean something. But I don't think I'd throw myself t him the same way I did if he showed up now. I'd probably actually be more concerned with showing off my new powers first. I think he'd grill me for hours on that.

It's strange, I held on to that torch for years. It feels like it should have taken a lot longer to put it down even a bit. I don't really know what that means. Not sure I want to really.

cw suicidal ideation

[pillz]

[a lot of that makes sense to kavinsky.

more sense than he wants it to. and considering certain other threads happening on this very same post— amanda's timing couldn't have been better, really.]

yeah. i get it man
well
i get the evil version of wahtever cute sad romtragedy shit you got through where you didnt do much taht was your fault at all
close enough.
guess it just takes some time.
if you can stand to put it in the time

[there certainly was a time that kavinsky couldn't stand that. he'd cut himself short. but these days, he knows one or five things about living with pain, and maybe even half a thing about inflicting less of it on others.]

[miss_brilliant]

Yeah. I don't know if it would have happened if I hadn't gone to Eudio, even if Nick had stayed on the ship. Because I would have still technically had a means to reach him.

God, I just thought about the fact I might have been pining for him into my fifties. I mean, I might still be, but. Not like I used to.

Then again, I might answer differently if he shows up and I get drunk, given what happened the last time I drank around him and what happened here when my inhibitions were similarly lowered.

[yeah, she's admitting that it's highly possible that she's the type who gets horny when she drinks or does other things. She might regret that]

[pillz]

we all been there sweetheart

[we have definitely not all been there. happy generalization for kavinsky to make, though. he definitely spent a dangerous proportion of his actual childhood drunk.]

maybe you won't really b over him til you fall in love again
infatuatoin
whatever. you think that too? lke it ain't just sex
it's sex with
feelings
lol