Daemon: kyd | video

[mordacita]

[ It's been a few days since Rafa felt like himself again. He's avoided everyone but Hunter since then, and even now he doesn't look comfortable on camera. This is something that has to be done, so he is making himself do it. Anyone who knows his farmhouse will recognise that he's sitting at the top of the stairs, with the plain wall behind him and the shadows of the eaves playing over his shoulders. ]

Hello. I am certain that you do not wish to hear from me, but I must speak anyway. I must apologise for the things that I did. I was not myself, as many of you were not yourselves.

That does not make it right. To those of you whom I...hurt. Enthralled. [ He corrects himself and then swallows, that word tasting sour on his tongue. ] ...I know that you are in pain now. I would help you if I could, but my presence would make things worse for you. I cannot ask for your forgiveness, so I will not. In time, the city will heal your affliction. It does not allow such things, and now that it is safe again, it will make you right. You need only wait, and I am sorry that you must.

[ If Shane were here, he could have cured them at once. He would have made everything right again. But he's gone, and Rafa feels his absence so much more keenly now. Seeing that Kyd is about to turn away, he reaches to draw him closer and refocuses. ]

Our farm will not welcome visitors for a time. I will arrange for what we grow to be sent into the city. [ He looks like he might say something more. Then he thinks better of it, and shakes his head. ] Goodbye, my friends.

Comments

text;

[sadico]

[ He sent a text because he wanted to give Rafa more time and space to reply. ]

I am here if you need me, my friend.

[mordacita]

[ He appreciates that. It lets him keep the video off. ]

i am grateful for what you did. thank you for helping hunter. he could not have kept me prisoner alone.

[sadico]

We did not keep you prisoner. We kept that creature prisoner.

[mordacita]

i remember being that creature, ignacio. he used my hands and my blood. i cannot pretend otherwise.

[sadico]

You are not responsible for something controlling you.

[mordacita]

yes. it was a violation. it made me something i am not, so that i did things that i would not.

but i did them still, and many suffer now because of it. do you think i should not apologise? when it is all i can do, i think that i should.

[sadico]

No, I do not think you should apologise because you did not do anything. You are not at fault.

[mordacita]

and yet i remember doing it. i remember wanting to. i was not being controlled, ignacio. i was changed on the inside. that is not so easily cast aside.

[sadico]

It was a force beyond you. It was not you.

[mordacita]

and so? that changes no part of what i feel today.

[sadico]

And so there is nothing to apologise for, to regret. You are not that person and you never will be. I knew instantly, the moment I saw him, that he was not you. The thralls will heal. All that I ask is you allow yourself to do the same. Do not allow that cold creature to dim your warmth.

[mordacita]

they did not know they would heal. they are out there now, wanting me, desperate for something they can never have again. in my right mind i would not have done this. you are right that i did not control my actions then, but i control them now, and so i will now do what is right.

it is right to explain and it is right to apologise. you like me as i am now, yet you dislike the things i do to be the man you like.

[sadico]

I am not used to comforting others, that much is clear. Forgive me.

[mordacita]

there is nothing to forgive.

if you would help me, then help those thralls. keep them safe until their wits return to them. they are my concern now.

[sadico]

I will do as you ask. They will come to no harm under my watch.

[mordacita]

thank you.

[ He says nothing more for a while, trying to settle his own nerves. Eventually, though: ]

would you truly have fought with me, as i asked?

[sadico]

I do not engage in wars when I know I will lose.

I thought that it would be better to stay close to you, rather than become your enemy, so I said and did what I did to remain at your side.

[mordacita]

then i thank you for that as well.

you were right to be wary. i would have attacked you like i attacked hunter.

[sadico]

It was the least I could do, my friend. You are dear to me.

[mordacita]

and you to me. the farm will not be closed forever, i promise it. i only need some time.

[sadico]

That is good to know.

Know that I will come whenever you call.

[mordacita]

you do not have to say that. i know your eyes have traveled elsewhere of late.

[sadico]

We can discuss such things when you are content once more.

[mordacita]

oh? so there is something to discuss.

[sadico]

It seems as though I am always asking for your advice when it comes to love.

[mordacita]

when it comes to love, follow your heart.

you do not need other advice than that.

[sadico]

As you say. It seems so simple and yet my mind always attempts to silence my heart. I will see how I feel when you are feeling like yourself again, I do not want to rush anything.

[mordacita]

are you speaking of me, or the boy?

[sadico]

My feelings for him, my feelings for you.

[mordacita]

what does your instinct tell you, ignacio?

[sadico]

They tell me I want to speak more seriously about this with you over a glass of blood, by a warm fire, when you are ready for such a thing.

[mordacita]

[ He's absolutely not ready now. ]

very well, if that is your wish.

i will contact you.

[sadico]

Thank you.

Be well, Rafa.

[mordacita]

And you, my friend.

not here;

[pillz]

why does this icon and the one below necessarily look like such dramatic gaze-averted sepia gay drama nonsense MOM & MOM'S ?BF?

text; daemon: moonshined

[pillz]

mom hwy are you hiding in ur farmhouse
r u developin some kind fo secret vampire magic taht will stop us from ever gettign brainwashed by the apocalypse

[mordacita]

i do not wish to see anyone

such protection is beyond my power, though i would be grateful for it. perhaps it is not beyond yours, kavinsky./font>