employment ama; daemon: zeymahd

[drehnifusbahi]

EMPLOYMENT AMA
Preferred Alias: Vanyel

Worst Job(s) Held: It's a toss-up between stable boy and fisherman. Guarding caravans had its moments as well.
Best Job(s) Held: Adventurer, Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold. I enjoyed running my pub in Eudio, too. Oh! And fatherhood, though that probably isn't the sort of job this is talking about...
Fantasy Job(s): Arch-Mage is? was? more or less it, though I admittedly wasn't thinking of Winterhold necessarily.

Current Job(s): Nothing much, as of yet. I wouldn't mind running another pub, but without knowing how much time I could actually devote to it...

Ask Me Anything!

Comments

[drehnifusbahi]

[She won't have to go it alone, that much he can promise.

He freaked out quite a bit himself, in the early days. Still does a little, every time he has to leave on quests, thinking of all the awful things that could happen in his absence. The trick, he's found, is to work through the fear and not let it overrun his good sense.

When she curls closer, he tightens his grip and and does his best to curl around her in turn. He can only imagine how difficult it is for her, talking about this. Reliving it.]

But you did realize it. [That's a big thing, an important thing - but those thoughts are derailed by what she says next. 'Born wrong.' How could anyone even suggest such a thing to their child...] Alright for them, perhaps. But you would never have been happy, would you, pretending to be someone you weren't?

[That's a rhetorical - how could she have been happy, in that scenario? How could anyone, when forced to live a lie? Though it might be a selfish thing to think at a time like this, he can't help but be grateful for his own mother's unconditional acceptance.]

[hasitsthorns]

I don't know, [ she answers.

It's tricky. While she'd escaped to the human world because she didn't want to live as someone she wasn't, she also... wasn't really herself there either. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing, even if she was more sheep than wolf by nature.

In almost three hundred years, she'd only ever met one soul as displaced as she was. They didn't fit in either world and had to carve their own way. Charlie, however, was driven by hatred while Rose was driven by... Well, honestly, looking back at it she's not sure. Survival, perhaps. But was that really living?

She knows what drives her now. Love. Her packmates. The promise of a future in a world where she might actually get to be herself, true and free and happy. ]

I think sometimes I still pretend to be someone I'm not. With the glamour, with how difficult I can be. There's a lot of parts of myself I don't like still, that I want to hide.

[drehnifusbahi]

[Sad and downright painful though that is to hear, it isn't actually surprising. Not after all that's been said so far, after their little confrontation over her disappearing act back in Eudio...]

I don't know that that's quite the same, though? [One hand moves up to pet her hair as he continues.] With those things, there's at least an element of choice.

[And that doesn't sound quite right, now that he's said it. A little judgmental, even, which is the last thing he intends. So he plunges on-] I mean, as things stand, you have the freedom to... [He pauses, considering how best to phrase this.]

To learn to like those parts, if that's what you want. To make peace with them, if not. To wear the glamour or not. You have choices, and no one is going to take them away from you.

[Not ever again, if he has any say in it.]

[hasitsthorns]

[ She hopes no one will ever take away her choice again.
Part of her is scared some days that all this will end and she'll be left with old life. Hollow, cold, alone. Trapped. Dead. She tries not to dwell on that, however, and instead on Vanyel's warmth as he lies next to her and pets her hair so soothingly. ]

I hope I can, someday, [ she admits. Quietly. ]

Come to peace with them. Maybe. I don't know. [ There's so much she's still unsure about. ] But I guess I have you to help me figure out the things I'm not sure about, huh?

[drehnifusbahi]

[If he has any say whatsoever, she'll never have to. He may not be able to promise they'll never be parted -the business with the portal that took her directly here but detoured him to Tamriel proves that may not be up to them- but he won't leave her of his own accord, and if someone or something else forces them apart, he'll do everything in his power to find her again. That much, at least, he can promise.

Here and now, he keeps petting her hair, and presses a kiss to the top of her head for good measure.]

Of course. [He says, without the slightest hesitation. 'Always' is on the tip of his tongue, but what comes out instead is] For as long as you want me here.

[hasitsthorns]

[ Rose realizes it isn't truly up to them. Still, if he were to suddenly leave she'd do everything in her power to find him again. It's comforting, in a way, to know he'd do the same.

She hopes wherever the multiverse takes them, they'll at least be able to find each other again. But maybe that's too much to hope for. Who knows. ]

Always, [ she answers for him, actually. ] Not to get like... too sappy or anything, I mean. I just. I don't know, dude. It's getting harder to imagine a future without you.

[drehnifusbahi]

[Depending on who you ask, his defeat of Alduin was in defiance of Fate, or the gods, or what have you. Defying it or them for her sake doesn't seem quite so daunting when he's already done it once.

He smiles when she says 'always,' unable to help himself.] Not to get too sappy in return, but it's getting rather difficult for me to imagine a future without you, as well.

[Moreso since they came here, but even before... well, the fact that he'd wanted to bring her to Tamriel with him once their time in Eudio was done probably says it all.]

[hasitsthorns]

[ Rose's very existence here is at the defiance of all those who've made claims on her life, so. She'd know that feeling all too well. ]

Yeah? [ She questions, like she hadn't been sure. In a way, she hadn't. Rose either assumes far too much or nothing at all, it seems like. She had assumed it'd be better for Vanyel without her instead of consulting his feelings on the matter; on the other hand, she didn't want to assume he felt any kind of way towards her that he might not.

So it's... nice to hear. To be reassured that he's just as in love with her as she is him. ]

Guess we'll have to see what the future's got in store for us here, huh?

[drehnifusbahi]

Mm-hm. [Hopefully it'll help at least a little to have it said aloud; if not, he's happy to keep saying it until the message sinks in.

Because he is very much in love, and certainly not about to give up on her.]

I suppose we will, at that.