RAIN & MEMORY SHARE

[spoofer]

Characters: Ensemble cast, any/all characters of Xistentia!
Summary: Rain has come to the world, and with it, comes whacky memory share phenomena— certainly not all of which is wanted. Characters are driven to find shelter and solutions.
Date(s): September 30-October 7
Warnings/Notes: None specific, please warn in your subject headers

Awash In Memory

The landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden

The Rain

At first, it's just rain, expected to last a week. A swirl of silver cotton-candy clouds in the sky that rolls into a mist, and then a drizzle that freckles the gutters and chases people to their cars or into the shopfronts. It's nourishing and not too cold— a good excuse to share an umbrella or maybe just fitting of a shitty, blue mood if you would like to walk around in a billowy coat like the King of Pain.

Gimme Shelter

It can be a cute or enormously embarrassing way to meet people, pretty much up to you. Fall in step with someone under an offered umbrella, or dart around like a panic with a pizza box or plastic bag over your head. Maybe you'll just find an overhanging tree branch or store awning to tuck yourself under. Hopefully you're stuck with someone you like.

Quite a few restaurants seem to be offering rainy day specials, including Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe, comprised of hot cocoa and half-off a second cup if you're buying for a friend. You probably won't be the only one there.

However, for those of you who are taking the weather more seriously, the citadel has opened for shelter. Here, there are beds aplenty scattered throughout, and the bar and lounge is open with its terrible soundtrack as well as plentiful if repetitive food and drink. Residents are also exchanging resources of their own, including harvested foodstuffs and clothes. You can also check out the control room to see the meteorological analysis and forecast... which is behaving a little unpredictably, but-- it'll probably be fine.

Like My Mood

Alternatively, #mood.


Maybe everything sucks because you got stood up for a date or otherwise rejected recently-- it's a good time to storm around tragically in the street. Alternatively, if you're the happy type, there is an entire musical dedicated to the fine practice of dancing in the rain. Who needs musical accompaniment when you have the rhythmic drubbing of water on the earth and the sweet smell of petrichor?

Or maybe you're in the mood to talk. Certainly, there's an increasing sense of nostalgia going around that's stronger and more widespread than the average effect of poetic weather...

Oh Shit

However, the downpour steadily intensifies over the next few days, and soon after F.A.T.E.S. issues a warning— D.E.S.T.I.N.Y. has hijacked the climate. At first, there are only a few concerns— herds of animals coming into the city seeking shelter. Be careful if you find a herd of bison gathered under the highway overpass, or your kitchen is suddenly full of fairies. Hell, maybe you're a Good Samaritan, trying to rescue some hapless native cat or other.

But then it begins.

The Memory Share

As the rain grows heavy, the nostalgia turns into something unexpected. Characters who touch one another find themselves sharing brief sensory memory. These can vary from the sudden and terrible pain of old battle wounds, to the overwhelming, heart-pounding joy of welcoming a new child to the family. The scary thing is, these memory share are uncontrolled, and might come from even the shortest, most accidental touch.

The Telexistence Temple

News from your fellow residents: Era Ra and Ezekiel won visions during the fair. And now Era has information to share, that uploading memories at the Temple can lock and protect them from the involuntary release, as well as fortify the defenses of the city. She's also talking about some kind of a key hole there, which you can check out yourself. Weird!

You can teleport East from the Citadel to the Temple, or you can walk there on your own two legs. Weather allowing.

Within the Temple the chamber lays behind a large round door covered in inscrutable carvings. It's surprisingly bright in here now, in contrast to what Era's message held. It contains numerous strange beds, all of which are now online, having awakened in answer to the rainfall. The characters must lay down on while the daemons connect to a holographic interface.

From there, the memory share becomes intuitive even for the most technologically impaired of Xistentia residents.

The Temple Chamber

If you should choose to share, you may control who sees it; filter it to someone of your choice, or leave it open for everyone. You may post anonymously, but visual cues of identity cannot be erased. Pain is muted and impressionistic, but pleasure tends to be evocative enough. It's the way the mind works. Daemons will flag graphic or commonly disturbing material. With every new memory shared, the rain seems to be lessening.

You can also choose to lock it away, preventing anyone from seeing it for at least another month. Unfortunately your memory will not help to shield the city, but at least it will stop embarrassing you. Let's hope it doesn't provoke any intrusive questions in the meantime.

After 48 hours, enough memories have been shared. The sky over the city and the sphere of forest surround the urban bounds develops a barrier that looks almost liquid, translucent. Though residents can pass through it, it cuts the rain down to half. A few hours later, the storm wanes out and stops entirely. The shield also fades away, and the animals begin to ebb as well, back into the wild. It's only been a week, but it might feel much longer.


The memories will dissipate from storage in a month, regardless of whether or not they're viewed again.

Comments

[helical]

( they know each other, but they don't talk much. it's something alec likes about janus. they don't fill quiet with inane questions, they don't try to pry at him to figure him out, they don't require anything of him. in that silence he's found some sort of unexpected friendship that he's come to appreciate. they have that in common: appreciating quiet, sometimes solemn company.

it does also mean he knows very little about them. he doesn't mind, doesn't need to know anything at all, but it makes the flash of memory as they bump into each other surprising. it's a situation he's intimately familiar with but that takes him aback, in part because of how not familiar it is at all. it's not his, and he's acutely aware that he's not himself, and that whatever he just killed isn't any sort of demon he's ever seen.

a chill goes through him at the strange sensation of being someone else, inhabiting someone, remembering a memory that isn't his own. )

Demon? ( it's all he can think to say, his voice sounding distant in his ears. a raindrop makes it's way into the back of his collar and rolls down the back of his neck, landing where his shirt is already soaked and sticking to his back. it's uncomfortable, and alec wants to get dry, but isn't about to ditch janus right where they stand. )

[bangitybang]

Ghoul, [janus manages to say. manages, because— because-- it's an embarrassing mistake, and the mortification only increases with the end of the contact, the termination of the memory, the point at which janus started to realize what they'd done and how awful a mistake. not because of the exposed killing, or only a little bit because of the exposed killing— but because of what came after it.

it'd been one of the first missions they'd gone on, after coming back from mythian academy. and as the blood gutters at the tail end of the memory, there's

a terrible feeling of loss, like thirst or hunger, that had been slaked only for a moment by the adrenaline, the confidence of real expertise, the easy distraction of finding refuge in the familiar. but it's back now, after the sip of salt water. they try not to think of his name, and it's replaced instead by the inane and bitter question: would he have done better? which is— stupid, a waste of thought, of energy, of memory as the dying monster turns into a corpse. as if turning love into rivalry could fix a broken heart.]

We call it a ghoul. It used to be human, but something went wrong.

[helical]

( it's an oddly, privately familiar thing, settling on alec's shoulders and making him itch to shrug it off, to let it fall at his feet and walk away. it's not his, but the weight of the memory makes it feel like it could have been. for a moment his will wavers, his moodiness and natural predisposition with these things almost making him take the brunt of it as if he'd just lived it despite the muted quality of the feelings that accompany it.

then a drop of water runs down the side of his face and he lifts a hand to wipe it. as he does, he gets a glance at the ring on his finger, memories of combating that sort of thought, of overcoming heartbreak, returning to him. there are fresher memories of this sort of pain, but they've been bandaged as best he can and are healing all the same.

should he say something? they don't talk about these things, hardly talk at all, but he wants to sympathize. to convey he doesn't find it strange or bad at all to feel and think that way. )

We call them Forsaken, where I'm from.

( alec is distracted by the disconnect between their conversation and what's on his mind, what must be on theirs. it doesn't feel right to dance around it so blatantly. )

You okay? Wanna get out of the rain?

[bangitybang]

That would probably be a good idea, [janus says, after a stilted moment of surprise that alec said that many sentences in sequence to them. it really just isn't what they've done, but they probably haven't known each other long enough to have a proper, established pattern of what they do. so they say,] I don't rehydrate by standing in it.

The Citadel is only another block. [where people are gathering to exchange resources and advice, the ones who are more worried seeking shelter from the possibility of flooding as well. the city's bizarre, protective physics promote a great deal of confidence, at least, right up until one recalls the extent to which d.e.s.t.i.n.y. seems to be able to make things go horribly wrong. janus starts that way, and then they say,]

I'm sorry about that, [shoehorned in quick, and right before,] Forsaken by what?

[helical]

( subtle subject change. alec gives them a look, but follows toward the citadel. it's as good shelter as any, and likely there might be answers there. if not, they can return to silence and hopefully shake this off. it doesn't feel right, to get a glimpse into someone's thoughts and feelings like this, however muted. alec has invaded their space, unwillingly.

he walks with purpose, not avoiding puddles when it's already too late. his feet are soaked, even through his boots. hunching his shoulders, alec shoves his hands in his pockets. )

Their souls, I guess. ( and then, because he doesn't like the idea of this hovering between them weirdly, as much as he doesn't like the idea of breaking their quiet companionship by talking to janus more than he ever has: ) Don't worry about it. I'm the one that — ( saw something he shouldn't have? not quite. experienced something that wasn't his, for sure. it's uncomfortable. he would absolutely hate it if he was in janus' shoes, would feel too exposed and angry. the rain does little to dull the discomfort, the memory still right there, on the surface of everything. ) That was... private. I get it, though.

[bangitybang]

[there are a dozen layers of meta-embarrassment in here too. not only about the psychic spill by itself, but the fact that they're embarrassed about it is also embarrassing, considering— well a stranger on the internet had told them off once, about over-sharing.] I made some of that business public the other month, [they tell alec, finally, opting for truth, because--

—because they're past the point of pretense now, a little. forsaken by their souls-- that's interesting, and janus wants to turn the conversation back to that, but they're cognizant enough of their own #bullshit to realize half the impulse is anxious avoidance. and they know a thing or two about being brave. they squelch along, moving forward.] I probably shouldn't make a big deal out of it now. I was a kid, and everyone does stupid things when they're a kid.

[it sounds like someone else's words. a lot of people say things like that, about being a kid.]

[helical]

( even with his shoulders hunched, alec feels drops of water down the back of his neck, his hair dripping. the discomfort is a distant thing, the citadel not far, someone he, in a strange way, might consider a friend opening up next to him. )

Maybe. Still something you lived, even if you were a kid. ( a hard thing to recognize, when looking back a lot of embarrassment and shame were attached. he's not about to tell janus everything he lived himself, but he does wish to convey he doesn't think anything worse of him for it. maybe he thinks it's time they talked a little. once in a while, maybe one out of three times they gravitate to their brand of silence together. that isn't such a bad thing, is it? )

I don't know if that means it was stupid. Just Young. ( words that maybe alec should listen to himself, honestly, but he'll think on that later. )

[bangitybang]

That sounds good if you've outgrown it completely, [janus answers, after a moment. it sounds 2% less embarrassing when described in the second or third person, abstractly, as a theoretical problem that plenty of people have experienced at some point in the past. not that they think alec looks particularly fooled.] I think I spent most of my childhood thinking, by the time I reached twenty or so years of age, I'd be completely 'mature.'

Which I think, I defined as -- never making 'immature' decisions. [there are no air quotes around the word 'immature,' but you can kind of hear them in janus' voice.] I guess that was an 'immature' thing to hope for.

[they know it was. a function of childhood delusion, that there was always a smart decision and a worse one, a best decision set apart from the ones that would cause pain and problems. right or wrong, too. they raise their head to look at the citadel, easing into view around the bend of the road. a car swings by, honking at them in greeting as they go.]

[helical]

( this is far from alec's area of expertise. he doesn't know much about the management of emotions. but he does know when he's looked at the behavior of others and found it childish. he does know he looked at his own thoughts and feelings felt that way about them. with some hindsight it's clearer to him that he was hard on himself. that a lot of the misery he experienced was self inflicted. that a lot of what he felt was normal. )

Emotions are... complicated. I don't know anyone in complete control of them. ( hilarious, considering one of the shadowhunter creed, but it's true. shadowhunters are the first to react emotionally. even vampires have better control of themselves. )

I don't know that it's necessarily immature to feel this kind of thing. ( it's trickier when he spent his life raised as a soldier. he was 11 when they put weapons into his hands. maturity was never something he had to seek, it was something he was always meant to possess if he wanted to do his duty well. as far as he knows, it's an outward thing. ) I guess what makes someone mature is how they act.

[bangitybang]

[janus has no way of knowing all that the other hunter is reflecting on, but they recognize something in the words that alec chooses, the way that he thinks about this. control is a fallacy but always necessary for the balance as well. they've spent their whole life meditating and grappling with the terrible work they must do.] That makes sense, [they say.] There's the emotional experience, and then there's the behavior.

[their feet squelch pleasantly. they listen to the patter of rain, and think about ezekiel living in their house, holding onto the hope a relationship will grow out of the backward mess of their beach encounter and a high school affair. it's ridiculous. somehow, it had felt immature to turn him away.]

It's better to treat people respectfully, but sometimes it's hard to tell what that means for different individuals.

[helical]

( alec heaves a sigh. that's something else, too, something he's learning. you might think your behavior is the right one. you might fully believe you're behaving maturely, or the proper way, responding appropriately to a situation. but to someone else it might be the worst way you could have reacted or acted. your behavior can still hurt someone, even with the best intentions. )

Yeah. You might think you're doing the right thing, but that person might feel otherwise.

( navigating this sort of thing is new to him still. he's more than once ended up clashing with people because they interpreted the same words or gestures differently. in fact, that's almost always how he's clashed with people in other worlds.

when it comes to feelings for others, he's come to certain conclusions, recently. )

I've learned... it's okay to be a little selfish. ( his words are almost lethargic, the rain making him feel water logged, the memory exchange a strange sensation like a bad taste left in his mouth. ) And you can't fault someone for having different feelings than you.

( that was a hard one for him to accept still, not exclusive to romantic feelings. letting go of his way being the best and only way was constant work, but doing so only a little had already broadened his world view immensely. )