[ Here is a green, hairy face, wearing a Santa hat, staring right into the camera. ]
Is this thing on? I'm ready for my CLOSE UP!
[ Camera lens: meet yellow eyeball. He sees you, he sees you – oh, wait, it actually is recording. He grins, backs up, and spreads his hands as if showing off his room. He's wearing a full Santa coat to match the hat. The rest of him is just long-limbed, green, hairy, and pot-bellied.
His room is dark, dank, and cluttered with piles of actual trash. ]
Greetings, one and all! Ladies. Gentlemen. Boys and girls. [ He says that with particular sneering venom. ]
I am the Grinch. No autographs. I hope you all enjoyed your little shindig last night. I've taken the opportunity to relieve you of your presents, no need to thank me.
[ Pause. ]
I said, no need to thank me.
[ There's some barking off screen, and then a little dog with an antler tied to his head runs into view. He tugs on a dangling rope, and piped applause fills the room. The Grinch gasps and clutches his face. ]
You're too kind. Now – cut that off – [ and abruptly, the dog lets go of the rope. The applause stops. ] – It has come to my attention that a bunch of you hitched a ride on my sleigh, without even paying the fare! Which was rude. I have bills to pay. Do you think I'm –
[ The dog barks again, and the Grinch refocuses. ]
All right! Ignoring that. Bottom line, you're now stuck in Whoville. FOREVER! [ He glowers into the camera, hairy lips pressed into a tiny line. ] You'll hate it there. It's so friendly, and noisy, and full of social interaction. Did I say noisy? Because - WHAT, Max?!
[ This, because the dog is barking again. He barks some more, and then the Grinch eyerolls his way off the camera. ]
Oh, yeah, those guys. [ Huge fake smile! ] And now a word from our sponsors.
[ The picture flicks off, momentarily replaced with a grey loading screen. Then, a brightly coloured and much nicer room appears. There's a wooden table filled with wrapping paper, scissors and sticky tape, and the background is decorated by tinsel, sparkling fairy lights and a Christmas tree. At the table sits a doll-like girl with pointed elf ears, a candystriped red, green and white shirt, and a red apron around her neck. Her hair is pulled into pigtails tied with tinsel, and her smile is bright and cheerful enough to hurt her face. ]
Hi everyone! Happy holidays!
[ Her head tilts to one side. Her eyes are so bright they're almost sparkling. ]
On behalf of D.E.S.T.I.N.Y, I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your recent rescue from the Prison World, Xistentia. We are so sorry for the stress this must have put you through! We'll be doing our utmost to make sure you stay safe and happy here in Whoville. Please, grab a room in the Whotel, and take advantage of the town's hospitality! It's a swell place. Have a great day! We hope you enjoy your stay.
Toodles!
[ She winks, and her cheerful scene disappears. The Grinch comes back, looking huffy and disgruntled. His arms are folded. ]
I hope you hate it!! Give my regards to Mayor Maywho!
[ The Grinch crooks his hairy thumb at the house behind him, before making a face. ]
It's my fortress of solitude! How can I work alone, if I got some guy staying over? Although, I could make my famous toxic sludge soup and set the table for two - no.The position of sidekick has already been filled.
[ Max the dog barks affectionately. Or, with great offence taken. It can be hard to tell. ]
There's plenty of other mountains! Just because mine happens to be the tallest...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Though I am not adverse to Kicky Guy.
no subject
[ These are the goals you must aspire to. ]
no subject
no subject
[ The Grinch crooks his hairy thumb at the house behind him, before making a face. ]
It's my fortress of solitude! How can I work alone, if I got some guy staying over? Although, I could make my famous toxic sludge soup and set the table for two - no.The position of sidekick has already been filled.
[ Max the dog barks affectionately. Or, with great offence taken. It can be hard to tell. ]
There's plenty of other mountains! Just because mine happens to be the tallest...
no subject
Ah. Perhaps next time, then.
no subject
[ And who could blame you?! It's positively terrible. Anyway: ]
Go stick it to the Mayor! Maybe then I'll consider it.
no subject
[ When he sneaks into the tallest mountain. ]
no subject
Smell ya later, sicko!
[ And he's gone. ]