VIDEO + SYNCHR; mjolnird

[drapes]

My friends, brothers and sisters in arms, fellow refugees - I need your assistance in settling an argument.

[ here's thor, with a starkly different haircut from last anyone saw him, standing before the camera looking a little more relaxed and a little more mischievous these days. maybe this whole thing is half him genuinely trying to win an argument with loki, and half him just being a little shit, because that's what brothers are for.

and it's nice to actually be a brother again. but we're not talking about that. we're just embarrassing loki. here we go. ]

My dearest, gentle, shy brother, Loki, seems to believe I never approve of his choice in lovers. Likely because his choice lovers are typically either lunatics, or unbearably obnoxious. I think it's his approach to the whole ordeal, so I thought I might do the worthy brotherly thing, and lend him something of a hand.

I've put together his Synchr profile, presented here for your perusal.

synchr

Loki, Son of Odin ▐ 1,000ish

Tall, dark and magic seeking romantic partner with greyish morality, a deep wealth of patience for direct mockery, and durable skin.

Requirements:
▸ minimal homicidal urges
▸ no history of melting people
▸ no running slave combat arenas
▸ has never become tyrannical lord of trash planets
▸ has never waged galactic war
▸ be quick on the uptake
▸ relatively resistant to all manners of death and dismemberment
▸ be a snuggler
▸ unlikely to piss off my relatives
▸ bedroom experimentation likely a plus, but don't get too weird with it
▸ laugh at my unfunny jokes
▸ long life span (at least a few thousand years)
▸ be a fan of leather & green
▸ enjoy laughing at the expense of others
▸ love snakes
▸ enjoy my stories, even if they're rude and exaggerated and only half true
▸ read a lot
▸ like magic
▸ feed me grapes while I watch bad theatre
▸ support regular hair care

Harm me ever, and my brother will end you slowly and painfully.

XOXO
Loki, Prince of Asgard

✓	✕
YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

[ is that thor, god of thunder, one eyed king of asgard, trying to hold in a snicker? nope, couldn't be. probably the cyclops thing messing up the symmetry of his face. must be. ]

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

That is a rather tall order.

[vexy]

yeah well, shoot for the stars

[dothelokimotion]

Don't oversell it. I'd hate to be disappointed.

[vexy]

if i disappoint you then you have motivation to punish me

[dothelokimotion]

How do I know you can handle it?

[vexy]

you don't

but i can

just don't cut anything off, i'm sick of reattaching my body parts

[dothelokimotion]

That would be a problem.

[vexy]

you're into that then, eh?

[dothelokimotion]

Well at least you're durable. As Thor helpfully stated, I do stab people a lot.

[vexy]

stabbing isn't really my thing

sharp objects in general

well it's not so bad as long as there's a pay off

i tend to get stabbed a lot without the happy ending

[dothelokimotion]

I'm shocked.

[ Not even. ]

[vexy]

;-P

i prefer to do the stabbing

[dothelokimotion]

What a coincidence. So do I.

[vexy]

fancy that.

we could compromise: you hold the dagger, i'll control the stab.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Hmm. That is . . . tempting. ]

I'll consider it.

action!!!

[drapes]

[ shouted from a nearby room, somewhere off camera: ]

Your disturbing friend is trying to fertilize me, Loki!

[dothelokimotion]

[ Yelling back. ]

Learn how to turn off your feed, Thor!

[drapes]

It's in my brain now!

[ there's an exaggerated uuueegghh sound from the far room, because thor is a man baby. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ He sighs. ]

Do you need me to come and turn it off for you? Perhaps try pressing gently.

[drapes]

I need you to keep better company.

[ omfg he knows how to work the daemon, huff huff!! ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ u sure bro. ]

I'm hardly a paragon of virtue, Thor.

[drapes]

But you aren't talking about planting seeds in people you just met.

[ and that's what's important here. ]

[dothelokimotion]

Because I am not a savage.

[ He rolls his eyes. ]

Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself? It's hardly as if anyone here can truly hurt me.

[drapes]

In me, Loki.

[ some pillow goes flying against a wall that's in the way of the two of them. this was supposed to just be about loki!!! why are people verbally impregnating him!! anyway. ]

Besides, it's the principle. It's rude.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki flicks his fingers, redirecting the pillow back at Thor casually, a sly smile growing on his face. ]

Is it now?

[ In a low velvet tone, Loki uncoils himself. ]

Clearly it should be the opposite. You being such a virile god, after all.