VIDEO + SYNCHR; mjolnird

[drapes]

My friends, brothers and sisters in arms, fellow refugees - I need your assistance in settling an argument.

[ here's thor, with a starkly different haircut from last anyone saw him, standing before the camera looking a little more relaxed and a little more mischievous these days. maybe this whole thing is half him genuinely trying to win an argument with loki, and half him just being a little shit, because that's what brothers are for.

and it's nice to actually be a brother again. but we're not talking about that. we're just embarrassing loki. here we go. ]

My dearest, gentle, shy brother, Loki, seems to believe I never approve of his choice in lovers. Likely because his choice lovers are typically either lunatics, or unbearably obnoxious. I think it's his approach to the whole ordeal, so I thought I might do the worthy brotherly thing, and lend him something of a hand.

I've put together his Synchr profile, presented here for your perusal.

synchr

Loki, Son of Odin ▐ 1,000ish

Tall, dark and magic seeking romantic partner with greyish morality, a deep wealth of patience for direct mockery, and durable skin.

Requirements:
▸ minimal homicidal urges
▸ no history of melting people
▸ no running slave combat arenas
▸ has never become tyrannical lord of trash planets
▸ has never waged galactic war
▸ be quick on the uptake
▸ relatively resistant to all manners of death and dismemberment
▸ be a snuggler
▸ unlikely to piss off my relatives
▸ bedroom experimentation likely a plus, but don't get too weird with it
▸ laugh at my unfunny jokes
▸ long life span (at least a few thousand years)
▸ be a fan of leather & green
▸ enjoy laughing at the expense of others
▸ love snakes
▸ enjoy my stories, even if they're rude and exaggerated and only half true
▸ read a lot
▸ like magic
▸ feed me grapes while I watch bad theatre
▸ support regular hair care

Harm me ever, and my brother will end you slowly and painfully.

XOXO
Loki, Prince of Asgard

✓	✕
YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

[ is that thor, god of thunder, one eyed king of asgard, trying to hold in a snicker? nope, couldn't be. probably the cyclops thing messing up the symmetry of his face. must be. ]

Comments

[vexy]

you're part of the pantheon where people shag/marry their relatives all the time and ask me that?

[drapes]

That is wildly inaccurate, no one's sleeping with relatives, we don't have any cousin-sisters.

[ the cousin-sisters being what kavinsky called it when this was brought up to thor earlier. ]

[vexy]

sure "wildly inaccurate" as if the entire world doesn't know that gods boink each other all the time but alright i'll give you the benny of the doubt

it actually works in my favor because it means i won't be competeting with you for a good time with your brother.

[drapes]

The entire world had plenty wrong in their ideas about our lives. For one, Loki's my brother, Hela is my sister, and neither gave birth to monster wolves or horses. Earth has a terrible track record for details.

You'll be competing in the sense that if I even suspect you've done something suspect to him, I'll punt you from here to the deepest part of the ocean past the beach.

[vexy]

i dunno, mate. i don't pay attention to ancient fae family trees so i couldn't tell you what it's like back in my world. pretty sure odin was loki's brother, though.

we're back into kinky territory ;-) darling the whole fun of it is to do things that are "suspect" to each other

[drapes]

Yeah, that one's wrong too. Definitely not his brother.

[ that doesn't even make sense, why are you weird, midgard?? ]

You seem like a man with very little self-respect to get such pleasure from being abused.

[vexy]

and??

what's the big deal about self-respect anyway?

[drapes]

Apparently nothing.

Well, if you're the one having bones and skin broken, as Loki's self-respect could sink ships, I suppose there's no problem to worry about.

[vexy]

well then why were you so worried then??? clearly he's a Power Top according to your logic

because i can see you're a fellow who knows LOADS about s&m

absolute expert you are!

[drapes]

Because we've only just gotten Loki past his mutilating and murdering stage. I'd hate to see him back track. And assist in disposing a body.

You know, he cut my arm off a short while ago. Blood everywhere, it was disgusting, not to mention a pain to clean up after.

Make sure you come up with a solid safe word.

[vexy]

i don't have a safe word





but maybe i should have one with him

[drapes]

Maybe you should.

If you aren't able to regrow body parts in a reasonable amount of time, you'll likely want to let him know that before getting to business as well.

[vexy]

safe words always struck me as a challenge, which was why i joked mine was "harder"

i did let him know to go easy on the parts, i've had mine removed too many times lately

[drapes]

I'd strongly suggest you revise it. Out of curiosity, how much pressure do your bones typically handle before breaking?

I see. Specificity would be your friend in this venture.

[vexy]

you think i ruddy weighed it???

eh, no risk no reward, i like going in blind better, fear is an aphrodisiac

[drapes]

Ah, right, of course not. Just as a pint of interest, an average Asgardian adult weighs between 400 and 600 pounds. Food for thought.

Well, the fortunate thing about Loki is that he’s surprisingly apt with healing magicks, so, assuming he’s so inclined, you’d be able to have the less desired broken bits mended.

[vexy]

he weighs WHAT?

[drapes]

I couldn’t tell you exact numbers, if isn’t as if I make a habit of regularly weighing my brother, but I’m around 640 Migardian pounds last I’d done the math. Loki’s somewhat smaller and scrawnier... perhaps 500 and change?

Asgardian physiology means denser tissue, largely what makes us more durable than humans. More density means more weight.

no reply because

[vexy]

[ staring

at

his

screen






brb textin Loki ]

No reply because

[drapes]

[ somewhere in casa de asgard, Thor is kicking his house slipper clad feet whilst lounging his tropical board shorts clad butt on a couch, snickering to himself as a documentary about whales plays in the tv.

God of thunder, king of Asgard, ladies and gentlemen. ]