kurt wαgnєr [ɹǝןʍɐɹɔʇɥƃıu] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shadowblends) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
xistentia2018-03-07 01:32 pm
shadowblends) wrote in xistentia2018-03-07 01:32 pm
Entry tags:
text; daemon: shebad
Preferred Alias: Kurt
- Kind
- Unique
- Radiant
- Trustworthy
Accurate As Hell, Huh?
[sheba's found that posting things without her owner's permission is amusing, especially when he reacts with sputtering and flushed cheeks.]
i didn't tell you to post this!
why must you have a mind of your own? [a brief pause.]
well, it isn't incorrect, though ...
text; daemon: kyd
your daemon seems to like you, kurt, perhaps you should not chastise it too much.
no subject
you have 'r' in your name, so you could be described as such.
oh, i didn't mean for it to sound like i was too upset.
just somewhat frustrated that my daemon does things i don't want it to.
like, what if it was something super embarrassing? that would have been awful.
no subject
although i doubt it. i suspect it is faulty wiring instead
sometimes what is embarrassing to you is endearing to others
do you think kavinsky would say you are radiant?
no subject
but i like to imagine they have personalities of their own!
that's kind of you
although
i'm not quite sure what kavinsky would say about me right now
no subject
you cannot guess at all?
no subject
he'd probably say something along the lines of how stupid i am for messing up a really important mission
or maybe make an inappropriate joke and act like nothing is wrong
Private to Kurt
Poor parenting, too many drugs, and too much rejection, that's why. Rafa knows. That doesn't mean it's not stil very frustrating. ]
yes that sounds very like him
unfortunately there is no one better at ruining what kavinsky wants than kavinsky himself
he would be gentler with you if you liked him less. he is so used to being the one who wants that he does not understand it when someone wants him. he is a difficult boy who wants so badly to be cared for that he misses it when someone does.
i will not ask you to forgive him. not everyone finds him forgiveable, but if you can, then i would ask for your patience with him. i would like to see him happy.
private
kurt ponders, considers rafa's familial(???) ties with kavinsky then figures if he's going to be anything, truthful would be the best decision.]
surprising though it may sound, i've already forgiven him.
i know kavinsky is self-destructive and that he would be better off if i hadn't admitted to liking him, but understandably so, people don't always react accordingly to such confessions.
it's not like i can assume what he's gone through during his lifetime. if i did that, i wouldn't be a very decent person.
and it would discourage the fact that i'm willing to be patient with him.
this may seem impolite, but what sort of advice would you offer in this situation?
i've handled everything to the best of my own ability up to this point, so maybe it's time to take a different approach.
no subject
i am wary of giving advice. i do not want to suggest something that is wrong
and everything seems wrong with him.
my best suggestion is to be yourself. tell him how you feel, be honest, be you
keep being you, until he gets over enough of himself to believe it.
it is easier for him when people treat him badly. he knows what to do with that. this will take time, and you will need to show more patience and more care than you will ever see given to you in return
he will never be an easy choice. you know that don't you?
no subject
being there when necessary, telling him like it is and--
well
as you said, being myself.
admittedly, i have very little knowledge of how to handle people like that.
i don't treat others badly on purpose and i won't start, but i've figured out there isn't much that needs to be sugarcoated when it comes to kavinsky.
i do. if i wanted things to be easy, i never would have acknowledged my feelings.
[because emotions make things difficult and while he knows he'll never be rid of such complications, he likes believing he has a handle on them.
certainly not the case when it comes to kavinsky.]
i'm wholeheartedly willing and patient. [like a saint!]
giving up won't be something i do, unless he does the same.
no subject
for what it is worth, i hope that he listens to you. you would be good for him and i would like to see it
i have always wanted to see him happy.
no subject
my hope is that if i'm persistent enough, something will stick.
but there's no guarantee he'll listen to me
now, i understand why he calls you 'mom,' though.
oh uhm
let's hope he doesn't mind my mentioning that.
no subject
he calls me that to my face, do not worry. i am never certain how serious he is being. he is a strange boy
but he is my strange boy, and he is my fledgling now, so perhaps i am in fact
his mom.
i quite enjoy him saying it.
no subject
i think it's cute, for the record. he is rather keen on you.
it only makes sense that he would call you by something affectionate if you are the one that turned him.
and there's nothing wrong with being strange. to be honest, normalcy is monotonous and boring.
no subject
i am glad he has you.
kurt – if he is difficult, and manages to get in the way of his own happiness, shall we say. please tell me. it would be nice if i could talk some sense into him before he ruined things entirely, instead of after.
will you do that for me?
no subject
thank you, rafa. that makes me feel really excellent.
[again, he has to pause, but it's not because of laughter this time. kavinsky taking part in ruining his own happiness sounds ... so much like the dream thief, honestly.]
of course i will.
we both agree on an important thing: seeing kavinsky happy. if you believe it would do some good, i'd tell you right away.
no subject
thank you. i would appreciate it, and i wish you all the luck you can have with him.
i hope that it makes you happy, too.
no subject
and i have a good feeling it will.