Employment AMA; Daemon: Barricaded

[aberth]

EMPLOYMENT AMA
Preferred Alias: Adam Parrish

Worst Job(s) Held: Gansey's whipping boy, shitbox driver, Aglionby lackey.
Best Job(s) Held: Magician, forest intern, Henrietta's Handsomest Mechanic, supernatural landscaper, evil mastermind, dream babysitter, dog petter, put upon fucking secretary, shopping cart racer, & giver of facts both useless and otherwise. My current skills are: being extremely boring, hardcore scrying, looking hot while covered in grease, and talking to trees.
Fantasy Job(s): Rich asshole who owns more than one automatic german monstrosity.

Current Job(s): Looking for another ten thousand jobs because I don't know when to stop.

Ask Me Anything!

[ Then, a minute or two later the whole thing comes with an update. ]

I didn't mean to post that.

[ God fucking damn it, Ronan Lynch. ]

Comments

daemon: kyd

[mordacita]

that is a shame. i have been looking to hire an evil mastermind
i suppose i will have to look elsewhere.

[aberth]

[ DAMAGE CONTROL MODE: ACTIVATED. ]

i'm pretty sure a real evil genius wouldn't advertise it.
if they're any good, they don't need to show off.

[mordacita]

ah, but perhaps they would deny it, to throw me off the scent
that would be canny.

[aberth]

( Well. )

maybe.
seems a bit of a risk though, right? you'd be hiring someone not knowing if they were capable or not.
especially when you add evil into the mix.
it could end in prison. or death. or like, maiming.

[mordacita]

perhaps i am confident i would win that fight regardless
or perhaps i like taking risks. that is how you get ahead you know

(㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

[aberth]

that's what everyone says when they just don't want to do the work enough to be sure.

( Adam wouldn't consider himself a risk taker.

But then, Aglionby was a risk. Cabeswater was a risk. Ronan was a risk. Maybe he doesn't know himself all that well. )

is that meant to be a face?

[mordacita]

it is a little vampire
the fangs are in the middle
the parts at each end are supposed to be a cape i believe

(i do not have a cape)
(fashion no longer permits them i am afraid)

[aberth]

a vampire.

( Because of course, there's more than one ... )

you could always say it's retro.
i think that's a thing that's cool these days.

( Is it? He has no idea, not really. He's just trying to once more wrap his thoughts around vampires. )

[mordacita]

do you? i am not sure
of course you get people who want to see that, but i dislike playing dracula for them

[aberth]

so you're saying you're literally a vampire.
like axel?
because vampires exist.

( He is the worst at believing things, but unless there's a mass hallucination going on he might have to reevaluate his own opinion. )

[mordacita]

yes! axel is my friend in fact
you have been speaking with him?

[aberth]

a little bit.
when he did this meme thing too.

i didn't expect it. mostly because it's a myth where i'm from.

[mordacita]

i will tell you something about your myths, and your legends
they are all real. every one of them, every one that you know, and most likely many that you do not

you will meet more of them here. faeries, demigods, witches and warlocks. they are all here.

[aberth]

you can't possibly say that every single myth is real.
the loch ness monster? bigfoot? any weird cryptid you hear from a bum?

( Glendower, asleep. )

sometimes things are just stories.

( And yet Adam is talking to a vampire. )

i believe you about vampires though. and when i run into any faeries or warlocks or whatever, i'll add them to the list.

[mordacita]

stories must come from somewhere

i have seen much myself, and heard more than that from my husband shane, a longtime traveller in our world

then i crossed to different worlds, and found creatures i had not even heard of before. i find skepticism limiting

and wrong more often than it is right. better to have the benefit of the doubt, and then nothing will surprise you.

[aberth]

i'm not easily surprised.

( Clearly, Adam is trying to surpass his boyfriend to become #1 Edgelord In Town. But no, he really just thinks of himself as sensible. He can't open his mind to endless possibilities, he's not built like that. He's not Gansey. )

i know the world is stranger than we're led to believe, don't get me wrong. i've seen it myself. but believing everything just seems like a slippery slope towards being fooled.

[mordacita]

[ Mmm. Opinion gently lowering. ]

and who is trying to fool you? am i, by telling you what i know to be true?
i wonder what you think I would have to gain in that
perhaps we will speak again.